Quick Question

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Q: "Most people who are gay feel that they were born that way and cannot change their orientation. They are rejected by society and faith communities. How can we be more like Jesus and accept those who are rejected?"

A: Accepting sinful behavior in other people does them no good. Pointing out the sinfulness is not rejecting them: It’s rejecting what is evil. We owe each other the truth. Because some people with same-sex attractions feel that they were born with such inclination doesn’t make it so. There is no proof for such an assumption. Such people assume they are born homosexual because they can’t remember ever feeling any other way. What we do know is that for whatever reason these people have not identified with the parent of their sex. The prevailing spin that our culture puts on this dynamic is that the culture must adapt to the needs these people perceive they have—to live as though the behavior that such feelings suggest is good and ought to be the norm for them.

Our culture insists that everyone has a right to sexual gratification. Never mind about context; let pleasure be the guide.

The greatest fallacy in such a proposition is that if anyone suggests otherwise, he is passing judgment and rejecting such people outright—as when you ask how we can be more like Jesus and accept those who are rejected. Jesus never accepted sinful behavior. He did accept sinners who were repentant, and he always loved them—even in their most sinful moments.

What is the context in which Jesus matters to us? What is the most important fact that we know about Jesus in relation to us? It is Good Friday! Good Friday is not only the day on which God revealed more about himself than at any other time in the history of creation, it is also our context as followers of Jesus. It is on the cross that Jesus shows us how to live. It is there that he shows us what constitutes love: sacrifice. "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me" (Mark 8:34).

That God would love his creatures enough to become one of them and then suffer and die for them is beyond our ability to comprehend fully. Yet to the degree that we can appreciate what it is to suffer, we can appreciate such love. Each of us is given the opportunity for gaining such appreciation through the crosses that he allows us to have. Many different crosses prevent people from engaging in normal married life and therefore, genital pleasure. Homosexuality is only one of these. Only when we look at our human situation in its proper context, the context of Good Friday, can we recognize our place in it. Only through accepting the cross of same-sex attraction and offering it up in response to his self-gift will such a person know the full embrace of his nail-scarred hands.

It is when we accept the cross in our lives and encourage others to carry theirs that we are more like Jesus—not when we water down his expectations of us!

Quick Question

from This Rock

Q: "In a discussion with a non-Catholic, I pointed out that his beliefs were incorrect or unfounded according to Catholic Church teaching. He accused me of being judgmental. But failure or refusal to accept the truth could have eternal consequences. What constitutes being judgmental?"

A: "First, pointing out the truth is not judgmental. Here are a few more examples of what does not constitute being judgmental:

It is not judgmental to make a moral appraisal of whether a person’s actions are sinful or whether the person is likely culpable for them.

It is not judgmental to have a negative emotional reaction to what is objectively evil.

It is not judgmental to bear in mind that a person you have forgiven has committed harmful actions in the past and may commit them again in the future.

One way to avoid being judgmental is to avoid making rash judgments.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church states:

To avoid rash judgment, everyone should be careful to interpret insofar as possible his neighbor’s thoughts, words, and deeds in a favorable way: "Every good Christian ought to be more ready to give a favorable interpretation to another’s statement than to condemn it. But if he cannot do so, let him ask how the other understands it. And if the latter understands it badly, let the former correct him with love. If that does not suffice, let the Christian try all suitable ways to bring the other to a correct interpretation so that he may be saved" (CCC 2478, cf. St. Ignatius, Spiritual Exercises 22).

Quick Question - perfect answer

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Q: "One of my friends suggests that we should not applaud the choir after the closing hymn. He says that the song should direct souls to the Lord. I find it unnatural if we don't applaud."

A: The church is not a concert hall and the liturgy is not a performance. We are there to direct our attention to God—not to each other. There is a time and place for everything. The church is for prayer—not performances. If you want to convey your appreciation for the music, compliment the director after Mass.

Quick Question

from This Rock

Q: "If a person asks in prayer for assistance but no answer comes, should the person just give up on the prayers? "

A: We all like our prayers answered yesterday. But the Lord knows the best time. He’s the only one who really knows what time it is. To keep praying is to keep trusting him. To keep trusting him is to keep loving him. St. Monica spent 30 years praying for her son’s conversion. When he finally converted, he became a great saint. But all the while she had been praying, she herself became a saint. Don’t give up on God.